Geeks... Nerds... Call them what you will, these heroes and heroines have captured the hearts and minds of men and women across the globe with the advent of the Information Revolution. You may have ridiculed them at school. You may have poked fun at them. Given them wedgies. Stolen their lunch money. Broken their legs. Prodded them with various dental instruments and devices usually reserved for cattle... Yes, you may have done all of these things in the past, but the 90s are the times to appreciate their accomplishments. Geeks, in fact, were behind that ingenious tool for pornography delivery now known as the Internet. And it is a known and well documented fact that people feel their computers safe in the hands of nerds. How to capitalize on this sense of security? Enter the latest and hottest product to hit the VäporOS scene- EDGAR™. What's that? Who's EDGAR™, you ask? Take a look and see all of EDGAR™'s fine features!
Welcome To Edgar™
An advanced and robust OS designed to make the powerful features of VäporOS available and accessable to the masses. New and exciting corporate sponsors each and every time you start up!
"Are you mod or a rocker?" "I'm a mocker"
Multiple tasks? No problem! EDGAR™ takes full advantage of "Beyond Modern OS" technology and new "ultra-modern" implimentations such as the robust KERNEL KLINK and a robust set of APIs, as well as a robust user interface, new robust multitasking features, as well as some very robust skin calipers.
"General Protection Restructuring"
What is a "General Protection Fault" anyway? Do people want to hear about a fault in their computer? Of course not! Take this example: you show up late for a meeting and blow off a $5 billion dollar deal for your company. Does your boss say, "Hit the road, Charlie - this is all your fault?" What, are you living in the 80s? No, your boss says, "You'll see the new corporate restructuring plans on your desk first thing tomorrow morning."
Animal Companions™ - A Plethora of Choices
Choose from a lovable cast of characters that you will at first find cute, later insulting to your intelligence. From the classic Edgar Dala™ to the Fabled White Ptarmigan™ to the Golden Herring™, EDGAR™ offers you quite possibly too many choices. Animal Companions™ were designed with you in mind- specially formulated to counter your productivity.
