Category: Essays

  • Gruning’s

    Wet walnuts, that was the key. The cold, frosted stainless steel of the sundae dish provided the context, and the ice cream itself, either chocolate or vanilla (back then the most gourmet flavor was perhaps the plasticy *Rocky Road*, available only at Baskin Robbins), was the body. If you’ve just brought home a new puppy, […]

  • Annie Get Your Politically Incorrect Firearm

    In 1977 or so, the South Mountain School 6th Graders staged a production of Annie Get Your Gun. At that time the idea of letting children enact gunplay or portray ethnic stereotypes (nevermind its sexual politics) was far from considered inappropriate. But fairness was in the rule-book, so students from the younger grades were drafted to […]

  • The Pinewood Derby

    Elementary school in the 1970’s still had the vestigial patina of post-war civic high-mindendess, so along with the book fairs, assemblies (when it was still ok to sing Christmas carols) and field trips to the local police station (we were fingerprinted!), the Cub Scouts came calling. I was never much of a joiner, but somehow […]

  • The Dead File Archives (pt. 2)

    In 1990 I was partner in a graphic design venture, *The Windedale Design Company.* Displaying an early penchant for absurdity that would lead to such diversions as [VäporOS](/the-graveyard/), I created a faux history of the business with a fictitious founder, one Jacobus Q. Winedale. The following is a biography I drafted intended (but thankfully never […]